Enough

Well Readers we need to talk. It’s about something we all face. Something that some of us handle better than others, but at the end of the day it’s the hardest thing for us to come face to face with. I’m speaking about Fear and her ugly bitch ass side-kick Self-Doubt. Fear can cause us to stop moving forward, can push us backwards undoing all of the hard work and progress we’ve made. Fear has a way of causing us to imagine the ugliest possible outcomes something that causes us to be stuck in our spot. Once we let Fear in Self-Doubt isn’t far behind. Telling us we aren’t good enough for what we are trying to accomplish. Telling us that no matter what we do we aren’t good enough, or we aren’t skilled enough. I know there are days when Fear and Self-Doubt can be heard so loudly in our minds that it can be downright crippling. It can cause us to not want to go forward and face the unknown, because the unknown looks hideous. Full of disappointment, failure and criticism on levels we didn’t think was even possible. The unknown is already something a lot of us are unsure of, but when we mix in these other two factors it seems downright impossible to move forward.

Well I’m sorry but Fuck those bitches. As stated from my all time favorite move “We cannot let the fear of striking out keep us from playing the game.” It doesn’t make any logical sense to let something we know nothing about stop us from moving forward. It makes absolutely zero sense to let something whisper into our ears and conscious telling us we are not good enough. We need to yell back at them we are good enough, we are a fucking bad ass who owns our destiny. We aren’t going to let the unknown tell us what we can and cannot do. Recently I started my photography company back up. I say back up because I can’t really think of a better word. It’s been in existence since 2014 and hasn’t gone away, but I had realized I was putting less and less effort into it and missing the feeling of capturing amazing memories for people to look back on and share. I wanted to get back to a place where I can work during the week and on the weekends take sessions and really capture my new town as well as help others capture their memories. I mulled the idea over and made the first jump by buying a new camera, my goodness can that baby capture. My first DSLR was starting to slowly fade out, I haven’t completely retired her, just merely gave her a vacation. Well when I started looking at other photographers around me self-doubt immediately started telling me I was not skilled enough and I was a sham. Boy did I ever let that bitch get her claws into my soul. I started doubting my skills, which is terrible because I’ve done this for enough time to know I’m good. Don’t get me wrong there’s always new things to learn and I am eager to do so, but I felt like I was a hoax. I started thinking my pricing in comparison to everyone around me was too high, even though I made sure it has the best value around my area. I then turned to etsy to help get new business cards, website template and printables to get me started. I’ve always believed packaging is everything and I really wanted to show the world I know what I’m doing. It’s the little details in any business that people notice, it’s what causes someone to start their smile with a smirk because they notice the little quirks in your company. I started combing through etsy and I could feel myself getting more and more overwhelmed. What was I doing? Was I nuts?! What on earth made me think this was a good idea? These are all thoughts that festered in my mind this week. Telling me that I’m a joke and I shouldn’t even bother. So I went back through my old photos and created a list of everything I needed to accomplish to feel at ease. Looking through my old photos reminded me I can capture that perfect moment that brings the rest of the memories back to life. I wrote my checklist and one at a time I slowly started to cross things off. As my list got shorter and shorter my breathing seemed to become a lot less ragged. I just want to be good and to not fail. The unknown is a completely scary and nerve wracking thing, but I found if I look back on where I came from to where I am that dark tunnel turns more into a well lit Christmas Lane. Sure I don’t know where I’m going, but shit it can’t be nearly as bad as the stuff I’ve gone through and walked out of. Granted I got some pretty bad ass bandaids going through that knee high crap but I know I’ll be alright.

And Readers that’s what I am here to tell you, not sure you’ll really take my advice or listen or if anyone other than my parents are reading this but…. Fuck the Fear. Scared of going on this first date with a guy from Bumble? Girl put on that sexy thong, that bad ass lipstick and know at the end of the night no matter what, you’re taking the sexiest thing back home with you, yourself. Afraid of that interview at work? Why? You know what you’re capable of, show them! Tell them how much of a whiz you are and that they’d be lucky to have you be a part of their team. Afraid to pop the question? Why? If s/he loves you then of course they’ll say yes, if they don’t you’re so much better off. I’m not hear to tell you don’t be afraid, fear motivates us to keep going, but I’m here to tell you that YOU are enough.. I’m going to say this one more time for the people in the back YOU ARE ENOUGH. At the end of the day, week, month, year you are growing. You are an amazing individual who is constantly adapting to the ever changing life you are living and do not let anything tell you that you can’t do something. Because you abso-fucking-lutely can.

Well readers I’m off to keep plugging away at my website, feel free to follow my company Insta if you want to get caught up! @Arosestouchphotography

XOXO

Kait