A few months ago I was sitting in my parents kitchen talking to my mom. We were talking about how I hated my experiences on Tinder and Bumble. I wanted something more than these men had to offer. I was tired of going on countless dates, engaging in mindless small talk and ending the night with rare potential for a repeat. These guys lacked substance, and for those that did have it they had no idea what they wanted out of life. Now I understand that not everyone knows what they want out of life, hell I don’t even know what I want out of life. All I am asking for is a guy who knows he wants a relationship and isn’t just toying with the idea like Mr. Rogers. It’s exhausting having emotions for someone and then *POOF* the entire game changes. Mr. Rogers wanted a relationship, or at least the qualities of one without the work, Bowler dad needed someone who could jump into motherhood, Tennessee wanted a girl he fantasized about and so on… It was exhausting. So in the kitchen my mom suggested to me that I try Match.com to appease her. She kept throwing words around like hook up site and getting laid every time Tinder and Bumble were brought up. She said Kat the guys on here are serious about meeting someone, you need to give them a try… So for a painful $100 ( I can’t remember the exact amount, it was obnoxiously high for 6 months) I signed up for Match. Readers, don’t do it.. don’t ever sign up for that horrid site.. and here is why.
I was accustomed to the Tinder and Bumble ways of each person having to mutually match or swipe to one another before you could even begin conversing with the opposite person. Sadly this is not the case for match. To an extent I understand because they want members to be able to connect with one another and reach out. In theory it’s a great idea, in practice? Not so much. I had men completely outside of my preferred age range messaging me, blowing up my inbox trying to get my attention. They could comment on my profile photos, send me messages, like me etc. There were a thousand and one different ways for them to reach out and get my attention. When I made my profile I had it set up so I could match with people who liked outdoorsy events, gaming, movies, reading, entertainment, camping and so on. They could be from the age range 25-34. I figured it was a decent range and I wanted someone not too far from me setting the distance at 35 miles max. I had guys in their 60s saying hey I know I am out of your range but you should give me a chance. Dad’s in their 50s wanting to see if I could overlook that they lived 80 miles away and boys that had just graduated from high school. By the time I finished leafing through my daily influx of messages I would end up with one or two who might hit my requirements and even that was before I read their profile.
Filling out their dating profile was like filling out a job resume on steroids. What’s my religion, my income, what I want the person I’m seeking for to make, his career, my life goals, do I want kids, do I have kids, if so are they in my custody, what’s the last book I read? The list went on for pages. By the time I was done with that I didn’t even have the energy to start leafing through all of the eligible bachelors. There are a multitude of different ways to connect with men on the website. Match recommends 10 different men that may or may not come close to your requirements. I can choose to either accept or deny the match. I would have men that were 90% matches and they hated doing everything I liked. Now at this point I was beyond confused how Match thought a guy who lived over 2 hours away and only liked living in the city would match with me who loved camping and small towns… I felt like their algorithms were completely askew. The next way I could find a guy was to go into their search program and put in my filters and it would toss up the men that kinda hit those. This was probably the easiest form of finding someone, only downside with it was if I found a guy and then it recommended someone else the other person always ended up being in a completely separate state. Eventually I stopped actively going through the searches and just leafed through the numerous notifications I would have daily. I would get a multitude of messages, winks, likes, comments on my photos and super likes. I felt like it was never ending, and yet these guys didn’t fall into the profile specifics I took so long to fill out. As to why the website had me fill this out if it wasn’t going to abide by it was lost on me.
For a lack of a better word I felt violated and intruded upon when day in and day out I was deleting and wading through messages. When I had much older men trying to get my attention, telling me to ignore my requirements and live a little. At least on Tinder and Bumble I had to match with these guys before the conversation could even begin. I feel like this was a vital flaw with the Match sight.. But worst of all readers you’ll never guess who I stumbled upon on there…
Mr. Rodgers. I almost threw up.. I was beyond upset. A man who I gave a lot of my time and energy, the man who made future plans with me and still checks in on me weekly was on match.. and yet he didn’t want a relationship. He didn’t want to do any work. He just wanted to meet people. So if men like him were on the website what hope did I have to meet “the guy.” After about a month I just stopped.. I gave up checking on this ridiculous website and it’s flawed ways. I just stopped looking for the guy. I was beyond exhausting trying to go on a multitude of dates and each new guy meant a new conversation to start and more painful small talk. I could not endure another conversation of what do you do for work, do you have pets, how close are you to me etc. I was done.
Readers if you are looking for someone, don’t waste your time and money on Match. Stick to Tinder and Bumble. You might find someone. I will cross my fingers and toes that you do. But I think I’m done for a bit. I can’t keep going through these motions, that and I kinda met someone.. Ok ok I know I buried the lead here a little. But do you blame me? I had to find someway to get you to come back to read my next article.
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