First Date Jitters

Well Reader’s I told you I met someone.. and well I did, but let me back this boat up and tell you all about my “first dates” and there were a few.

Let me take you to my first Tinder match that I sort of hit it off with. His name will not be stated for obvious reasons, but let’s call him Bowler Dad. He was sweet and kind and had an adorable smile, probably why I swiped right in the first place. After a few messages I was tired of going through Tinder so I sent him my cell number. We texted and snapped frequently. After about a week he invited me out… I figured why not. From our conversations I knew a few things about Bowler Dad. He was in fact a father to a little girl, worked and studied at the college I used to attend and he made me laugh. I let him choose our first date activities and told him I would drive out his way since I wouldn’t be out there until 7. He chose bowling, which I thought would be a lot of fun, and it was, the only thing that I don’t think I could have even prepared myself for was his daughter. She was six and adorable. I knew he was bringing her because didn’t have a sitter. I was completely ok with that fact, I didn’t mind and I haven’t really been on enough dates to know if I could handle dating someone with a child or not.

That evening I got all gussied up for my first date since being newly single and had absolutely zero idea what to wear. I mean I was bowling, did I try and wear something cute or go low key? So many questions were running through my mind as I was trying not to go into a full blown anxiety attack. I settled for a pair of skinny jeans, cute sneakers with a cardigan over a loose flowing white tank. I finished off the look with a soft glow of makeup. I felt cute and ready to take on the world.

The drive there was about thirty minutes, so I had time to kill with some great music. I can distinctly remember Blink 182 Anthem Part Two blaring in my car. This helped me calm my nerves as I began my journey to date #1. Thank god for modern day technology. When I arrived at the bowling alley I was able to spot him and his daughter almost immediately. I walked up and gave him a hug and introduced myself to his daughter. After introductions Bowler Dad left to get me a beer. I sat down next to his daughter and tried striking up a conversation. Thankfully I love Disney movies and I have a childish soul, so we hit it off pretty well.

I’ll save you all the crazy details of the night but cliff notes version… I had fun, a lot of fun in fact. We didn’t have much time to talk, but the daughter and I ganged up on Bowler Dad to try and win the games we played. Sadly I lost, which meant I had to go back with them for ice cream and a movie. It wasn’t too terrible of a loss for me though, you know what I mean readers. Throughout the evening I did feel like I was missing a dog and a white picket fence.. it just felt too… family for me.. I don’t think I could have prepared myself for that, not really. I would go to bowl and they’d both cheer me on. If the daughter got a strike she’d run up to me for a hug. It just felt a little too much too fast. I definitely wasn’t ready to be settled into that lifestyle. After bowling and ice cream we went back to his house to watch a movie. The daughter had a fort made on the floor while Bowler Dad and I sat on the couch. I didn’t want to snuggle too much in front of her, it wouldn’t have been fair. He rested his hand on my knee as we sat there semi close throughout the movie. When he took her to bed he came back to give me a much needed kiss. I won’t lie it did startle me at first as how quickly he moved to touch my face, but it was nice. Definitely a good kiss, one that we didn’t want to end for some time. But… that’s as far as I was going to let it go. I left his house that night thinking I might like a second date where I could get to know him, since we didn’t have time to talk much. As the gentleman he was he walked me to my car and kissed me goodnight with a promise from me to text when I was home safe. I remember thinking he was sweet…

When my friends and family asked me to recall the date I couldn’t say much, sadly. I just remember him being sweet, but it was just ok. I didn’t get the sparks or butterflies I knew I was looking for and I felt more claustrophobic thinking of having a kid in the mix than anything.

Readers when I started down this path I made a few promises to myself and vowed I would never break them:

Promise #1 I have a very very strict three date rule. I do not mind first date kisses, but that’s where it ends. We have to make it to at least date #3 if anything is to go further than first base. Yea I’m old fashioned I still use bases. Of course the guys don’t know about the rule, because well, it would then make the rule pointless and they’d try to get to the third date. If I want a booty call I have that covered, dates aren’t for hookups in my opinion.

Promise #2 If I am talking to a guy and I feel no chemistry I would let the other guy know. There is no point in trying to make something work, no matter how sweet or hot the man is. I am on this journey for butterflies and stomach flips not boring conversation. I don’t believe in leading anyone on, we’re adults. I won’t settle and I always want to be honest with the guys I am talking to.

Promise #3 Always be honest with myself and never change who I am for a man. I’ve never been someone who goes after what she wants, but lately that’s all I have been doing. If I find a guy attractive or want to pursue something I’ll tell them. I don’t believe in playing games in the dating world. I play games, but only on my xbox. I am honest and relatively straight forward. This is where dating gets the most complicated is trying to not be too honest and still remain an air of mystery about me…

Now reader’s there was a second date with Bowler Dad, but I’ll leave that for another post.