Well Readers February has come and gone, and I survived. Now I know what you’re thinking… Survived? Our Fearless Leader using words like survived? She doesn’t struggle..psh. She laughs at the face of struggle. Well dear Readers I do struggle, but I also embrace it. The year of 2018 is going to be a lot of firsts for me.. This one being the first Valentine’s Day alone. Now don’t get me wrong with my ex V day wasn’t special to begin with. Which kind of made me sad. I know you’re probably thinking he shouldn’t have need a reason to spoil you, he should have always been doing it.. Well he didn’t and for the record I lo lo looooveee Valentine’s Day. Not for the fact that it’s a made up Holiday by Hallmark to upsell balloons, cards and flowers, oh and chocolate, can’t forget chocolate. I love it for the simple fact that it lets couples be mushy in public and not be judged. It allows the man to spoil his S.O. and just be a man without someone commenting oh you’re whipped you spoil her etc.. I love seeing other people happy, I love seeing people in love. So I guess you could call me a Hopeless Romantic. Valentine’s Day to me is that one day out of the year I get to see others happy and comment on it..
So yes Readers I survived V Day 2018. Alone. And I wasn’t even sad for a minute of it. I woke up that morning and threw on a pink sweater, skinny jeans and pink boots. I was owning the love around me. Throughout the week I had joked with friends and family and coworkers that I would buy myself flowers and chocolates; because damnit I deserved them. But when I went online to order them HOLY BANANAS there was no way my self worth was buying myself $50 worth of roses when I could buy… two, not one, but TWOOOOO Kat Von D liquid lipsticks. Flowers die, but man my lips last at least seven days it feels with her mystical liquid lippies.
That morning I get to work and my manager hands me a beautifully vased bouquet of roses and other assorted flowers. I naturally being the hopeless romantic that I am started to tear a little when I found out who they were from. My younger sister (by two years) had sent me a bouquet of flowers, telling me how proud of me she is. I started to tear up, I couldn’t help it. Throughout our teen to adult lives if one of us is single we always managed to send each other little gifts or deliver them in person, so we didn’t feel alone. It swelled my heart. Then my manager disappeared to grab something from the front of the house. Next thing I know he is coming back with a second arrangement, this time the card was from my parents telling me that they love me and are also very proud of me and who I have become. This time tears splashed against my cheeks as I started to laugh and cry at the same time, I know I’m talented beyond my years. About five hours into work my manager calls me to the back of the house to inform me of another flower delivery! This time from a friend of mine ensuring I got flowers and chocolates!! He knows me well, can you tell I am a chocolate person? At this point my heart is beyond filled with love and just happiness. I was smiling all day and customers could tell I was cheerful. It was just a great day. That night customers were fearful I was missing out on some grand date after my shift, since I stayed a little late. I said no sir I am my own date with an ice cold beer and a home cooked burger. I was looking to my relaxing night in. I mean of course I may or may not have had some company that night.. but hey I’m building up to that Readers.
So what did I learn about February? I can handle being alone, especially on the most lovey day of the year. I mean I survived Christmas, New Years Eve and now Valentine’s Day. Who would’ve thought I would have come this far? One day I’ll have that someone that makes every day feeling like a specialty day, Hallmark or Calendar. But as of right now? I’m just happy being myself and taking the adventure that is thrown in front of me. I’ll continue to watch chick flicks, and Iliza S. stand-up and maybe.. One Day… just maybe. I’ll have someone to share all of that with.
Until next time Readers,
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