Well readers I told you I had an upcoming date that thrilled me and excited me. I met him on Tinder. Let’s call him Mr. Rogers.. I’ll explain later. One night I was at work swiping right and left trying to find a match, when my coworkers stole my phone and started swiping for me. They swiped left to this guy, he looked sweet and kind, and I knew him. I yelled “Wait! Go Back!” at my coworkers, because I did in fact know him. We went to the same high school. He was a few years older than me, and I had the biggest crush on him growing up. He was the jock, played every sport imaginable and I was the book nerd. Nose buried too deep into the pages to notice what else was going on around me. At this point I will admit, yes I paid for a week of Tinder; which allowed me to go back and swipe right to him. I wasn’t certain he would swipe right to me, remember readers I have terrible self esteem, but all I could do was hope.
A few hours had passed and I had since forgotten about me swiping right to Mr. Rogers. As I am driving home my phone pings to alert me of a Tinder message. When I got home I realized Mr. Rogers and I had matched and there was a message waiting for me in my inbox. I couldn’t believe it, but upon reading the message I realized he didn’t remember me. Not that I was surprised, our social circles were as far apart as they come. He messaged me with a non cringe worthy message saying “Hey little tinder buddy.” It was sweet and not pushy or a creepy pickup line that a lot of men tended to use. We started to message back and forth. He asked where I was from and when I told him, he then started to put the puzzle pieces together. Realizing we literally grew up a street over from one another. He still could not place which graduating class I was in, so I started to name a few others from my class to give him an idea. He felt bad for not remembering who I was, but I wasn’t bothered by it. I honestly wasn’t surprised. I grew tired of the Tinder messaging app and sent him my cell phone number.
We talked for days, me asking random questions to get to know him and him still trying to picture me in high school. About a week went by when I got a text saying don’t be mad. I’m a girl, we get anxiety over text messages like this. We worry and start to think the worst. I asked him why what did you do… he confessed he asked his mom to pull out the old yearbook and find my freshman year photo.. I was beyond embarrassed. I told him he was a goof and I could not believe he had done that! He said his mom thought I was a cutie and that he couldn’t believe he couldn’t remember who I was. The one giant downfall of all of this was he didn’t live in the area anymore, he lived about an hour and a half away. This wasn’t a deal breaker for me, especially since I don’t mind long car rides and he would occasionally come home on the weekends to see his family. After about two weeks of texting back and forth I got mad at him here and there because he was learning I wasn’t a typical girl. He would say I’m going to bed and get frustrated when I wouldn’t ask him to stay awake and talk to me. We remedied that miscommunication relatively quickly.
One night I was out with my friends and he was texting me, trying to get a rise out of me and get my attention. Asking me what girls looked for in guys on Tinder, if he should post photos of him shirtless etc.. It did get my attention, because for whatever reason this guy had a hold on me. I would get crazy butterflies every time we spoke or when I saw his name pop up on my phone. He received his nickname because he’d wear a cardigan when he’d go out. So during our heated texting he said women loved men in cardigans and that he needed to wear them more often. Asking me for advice on what else he could do to get a woman.. I was devastated. I didn’t care that he was trying to get a rise out of me, I didn’t believe in games like that. When he asked me what I thought about a man in a cardigan I said only Mr. Rogers could pull them off. He said well women loved them. So my friend took my phone and said goodbye Mr. Rogers, we don’t need you and your pretty boy ways and sent the text.. I couldn’t believe he sent it, but I was more hurt that this guy tried that hard to get a rise out of me.
Later that night when I was alone at home I realized I needed to fight for this guy. I liked him, a lot, and wasn’t ready to let him go yet. So I broke the ice and called him. I was surprised he answered and I told him so.. He said you broke the ice, what’s up. I said go out with me. He confusingly said what.. I said go out with me. Let’s try this out. He said he was going to be in town that next day and we could go out and get drinks. I agreed and we ended the call. Then my nerves went into a ball. What had I done?!? What if he’s still the jock from high school and I’m still the nerd. Nothing in common. All night and the next day I was uncertain of what to do. He reminded me this wasn’t high school anymore and we were different. Told me if I wanted to I could bring my friends so I would relax, but then it really wouldn’t be a date. When I asked him what time for drinks he wanted to meet around 10/11 which I thought was a little too late, since I had to work the next morning. We settled on 7:30 to meet at a local bar and he promised to have me home by 11 for work the next day. As I was leaving to head to the bar, he called to apologize because the place was extremely packed and knew I had never been there, nor did I like crowds. I said it was ok and we would figure it out if it got too out of hand. Little did I know he set the time for later because he was driving straight from his house to meet me. Poor guy was in the car a long time, just for a date. I’m not going to lie, it did make me feel special.
Our first date went a lot longer than expected.. eight hours to be precise. It was fun readers. I hadn’t felt butterflies like that in a long time. We talked about our past baggage and how we were both supposed to get married this year. Him recently out of an eight year relationship, me out of a four year. We hit it off pretty well and ended the night with promises to see each other again, we had to. He had lent me his sweater to wear for the night.
Well I won’t bore you with the crazy details but over the course of two months Mr. Rodgers and I talked. We went on several dates and saw each other on the weekends. He even met my parents during one of those dates. It was a country club event we all attended. Mr. Rodgers and I danced through a song and I can just remember how much fun I had. He would make promises to do things in the winter, like seeing Christmas plays together, or eventually spending the night etc…
We all know how empty promises go. This last week he started bailing and getting more distant. Telling me he didn’t deserve someone like me etc… A few days we went without talking to each other. I realized I wanted more than that. I wanted a guy who would text me every morning so I had something to wake up to. Someone who did’t wait eight hours to respond to a text. Now I understand during the week he was working, but I mean even on the weekends when he was home. I started realizing that I wanted more than he could give. We never had the talk about what we wanted from each other, I figured we would get around to it. Here’s the one thing I really learned… don’t wait. Ask early what they are looking for and make sure you guys are completely on the same page. Mr. Rodgers asked me this weekend if I had missed him and then followed with a don’t answer that. I honestly do not believe he knew what he wanted. I called him out for being distant and weird. Him stating he didn’t want to be the bad guy. I said look it’s my own fault for not having this talk earlier.. No one is the bad guy. But I realized he also wasn’t my type. I want a guy who can wear boots with me on the shooting range, but can still get dressed up to go out. Not some guy who literally wears cardigans to go out. I was more manly than he was, and I’m really not that manly.
I believe in speaking your mind and being honest. It wasn’t fair to either of us to keep whatever this was going. I wished him luck on his adventures hoping he realized what he was looking for. The one thing he did ask me was why was I so ready to get back into another relationship after just being in one not many months before. My response? “Single is boring. I do not want to spend the time getting to know people over and over again only to move on from them. That is beyond exhausting and I don’t need more friends, I have plenty.” I want someone I can share my adventures with. I’m ready for a new chapter in my life and hopefully this new character follows me until the end of the series. But who knows. Life has a weird way of working out.
Don’t worry readers this didn’t slow me down by any sense of the way. I’m back on the dating apps, except I’m on a new one.. One that is definitely overwhelming. My mom had me sign up for match today! Don’t worry you’ll hear all about it soon
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